


Intro to Anxiety

by staygaytabulous



Category: Halsey (Musician), Mindless Self Indulgence, My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco, Paramore, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi, at first I just wanted to give Ashley a cute gf, but then i saw the tags Halsey/Ryan Ross, my brain went guhhhhhhhhhh yes pls
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-29
Updated: 2016-08-10
Packaged: 2018-07-27 10:25:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7614496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/staygaytabulous/pseuds/staygaytabulous
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>@mcrfanfiction from Twitter said:<br/>"Someone write me an au where Ashley and Josh are matchmakers and they're trying to set up geeky Gerard and jock Frank. I NEED IT."<br/>And also:<br/>"Ashley and Josh were the gay matchmaking dream team. They were like hot teenage dream cupids, wanting to spread love and sex."</p><p>Title stolen from Intro to Anxiety by Hoodie Allen.</p><p>Major thank you to Ashley from @mcrfanfiction from Twitter! She basically co-wrote this entire thing with me. Not-so thank you to DIY network for playing all those damn tiny home shows that I love and therefore would watch in order to procrastinate writing.</p><p>
  <a href="http://staygaytabulous.livejournal.com/6605.html">Read it on LiveJournal</a>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. People Like ¥øμ

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter title stolen from Violent Bounce (People Like ¥øμ) by I See Stars.

_High school movies have it all wrong._

_There's cliques, yeah, but not nearly as defined as they are in the movies. And the students aren't anywhere close to as mature as the adult actors and actresses. The football players are big and tough, yeah, and they usually date the cheerleaders, but most of them aren't as bad as made out to be. Actually, most of the cheerleaders are pretty cool themselves. Lots of them listen to alternative bands fronted by cute boys with long hair and pretty tattoos. And many guys on the football team are actually in band or choir, and one of them is in archery club. The geeks, like myself, normally don't try to hang out with the popular groups, but a couple of us do. I know for a fact that Justin the midfielder and Terra from robotics club are going on 2 years strong. A girl who hangs out with the cheerleaders 24/7 is the leader of art club, too. And Axel from lacrosse is a history and math tutor in his spare time._

_Anyways, movies aren't always correct, but truth does ring throughout them._

_I'm a geek, as I mentioned before; I'm a walking art geek stereotype. I wear fringed jeans, black faded band t-shirts, ratty tennis shoes. I have a black book bag that's falling to pieces from years of use, and a sketchbook filled with random little drawings of zombie vampires and spacemen. I like comics and video games and coffee and cats. I have long dyed-black hair and, most of the time, black chipping nail polish. I like art class and history class, and I do okay in language arts. I'm a little bigger than guys my age and height, I won't lie, so gym isn't my friend, but luckily I took my last year of gym last year._

_Put this all together and shove a shitload of rock & roll records in and you get me._

_I'm a geek. I'm a geek, and I have the stupidest friends in the whole world because people like me and people like you aren't friends in the movies, let alone in a relationship. I guess my friends don't believe in the movies, though, because for whatever reason, they think we're meant to be._

_And for an even more bizarre reason, I almost hope they're right._


	2. I Only Want What I Can't Have

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I usually don't write long fics, so I hope you guys like this. If I seem to stop updating come yell at me @panicfanfics on Twitter.
> 
> Chapter title stolen from From Now On We're Enemies by Fall Out Boy.

Ashley and Josh, the matchmaking dream team of Belleville High. They prowled the linoleum hallways with edgy grace, like they owned the place, which, they kind of did. Ashley's long blue hair curled and bounced with each step she took, Josh by her side with curly mohawk and bright, blinding white smile. They are legendary.

Students stopped and stared, some tried to even interact with them. Regular humans simply could not just come to them on a whim - not unless they have a dating problem. 19 happy couples in the past 3 years or so. They honestly deserved a reality show or something at this point.

It's funny, almost, how both of them have weird relationships, but are basically professionals when it comes to others. Ashley had Ryan, then she didn't. Then Ashley found Josh. No one knows what happened, or why, but it's all friendly smiles and waving 'hello' anytime she sees him. It seems normal-ish enough, but she hasn't dating anyone since.

Now Josh, he and Tyler are a whole different story. Off and on, off and on. People around school are starting to think it's a way to tease the other. Like, when they're on, they are on. Hand holding, making out on the bleachers, holding books for each other... but - and it doesn't happen all that often - but, when they're off, they are off. Pointedly not looking at the other, separate lunch tables and friend groups, glaring at one another when they do accidently make eye contact. Only, Ashley doesn't do anything to fix it, so they must be okay, right? Ashley surely wouldn't let her best friend and fellow matchmaker date someone they weren't meant to be with. And Josh hasn't been setting Ashley up with anyone, so she must be okay being single.

So the duo don't have perfect relationships, but they love helping others find them. They guess it's just their way of getting their happily ever afters. It's fun, seeing two people go from strangers to lovers. They were both fine and dandy as magical fairy godparents. Perfect, even. At least, until Gerard came along and fucked that all up.

 

 

 

Lindsey knows Gerard, okay? She knows him very well, and she knows he is lonely. He has Mikey, he has Lindsey, but he's still sad and sometimes angry, but mostly full to the brim with angst. It's honestly getting a little ridiculous here!

"You're being dumb, stop it." She says, then pokes him between his brow.

Gerard gives her a look, scrunching his nose up, "I'm not being dumb, I'm being rational."

Lindsey arches an eyebrow high, shooting him an 'I know you better than you know yourself' look. Gerard sighs, slumps down, and stares at his lunch before pushing it to the side. She rubs his back, adding, "You like him. Just ask him out already."

Gerard head springs up, scaring Lindsey for half a second, "I can't ask him out! Are you  _crazy_? He'll laugh in my face! Besides, he's not even gay, okay?" Gerard scratched at a spot at the table, "He was dating that one chick a few months ago - whatever her name was..." He looks like someone just kicked his puppy. Pathetic.

"He won't laugh in your face, he seems like a nice guy." Lindsey says.

He huffs, "If I ask him out then I'd be asking if he's gay. Things could go horribly wrong very fast."

They're both quiet for a minute. He has a point.

"He plays baseball right?"

"He's on the team, yeah." Gerard replies, skeptical. "Why?"

Lindsey cracks a grin, "Hey, maybe he swings both ways."

She cackles loudly in his ear, giving him a tight, one armed neck-hug. Even Gerard smiles a little bit, it is pretty funny, but, "He doesn't actually hit the baseball or anything, he's the catcher."

"The catcher, huh?" Lindsey laughs more, "They're the ones that squat and catch the ball?"

Gerard's cheeks heat up, "Shut up, oh my God."

Lindsey leans into his space, nudging him with her shoulder playfully, "You ever been to one of his games?"

He shakes his head and takes a swig from his chocolate milk carton.

Lindsey narrows her eyes, "I don't believe you."

"I haven't been to a school event in years..." Gerard says slowly, "Mikey goes to all of them, though."

Her eyes light up, "Damn, what did Mikey do?"

"He," He starts, then Gerard groans and bangs his head onto the table, saying something unintelligible. When Lindsey asks him 'What?' he lifts his head up a couple inches and repeats embarrassingly, "He sends me pictures sometimes."

Lindsey roars, thrown into a fit of giggles. Gerard moans again and puts his head back down.

When she calms down, Lindsey rests her elbow on the table and holds her head up, staring at Gerard. He turns his head slightly to blink one dark eye up at her though his fingers.

She has to help him.

She's pretty sure Frank isn't fully straight. He totally kissed a guy on a dare back in seventh grade. There were pictures. They were blurry and you could barely see if it was Frank or not, but it was definitely him because you could see him holding one of his binders. Back then all of Frank's binders had fliers tucked into the plastic covers for whatever punk band he was in at the time. Actually, Frank's binders nowadays still had some of his old band fliers in them, just along with added baseball things. Anyways, Frank was not 100% straight in seventh grade, so there's a possibility that there's still a chance for Gerard.

Gerard sighed loudly and Lindsey snapped out of her train of thought. "What?" She asked, looking over her shoulder to see if she could pinpoint what he was looking at.

"It's nothing." He mumbles.

Lindsey doesn't even glance at him before palming at his bicep and squeezing. At his 'Ow! Quit it!' she stops and drawls, "Tell me what you were looking at." in a mothering voice.

"Jesus, Linds, I just saw Christa and Ray, okay?" Gerard hisses defensively, "No need to get feisty."

"Oh, fuck off, you've been so moody lately. You deserved that."

He huffs at her, covering the rest of his face with his arm and looking back down to the lunch table. Lindsey mocks his huffing right back to him. He really did deserve it.

"So," Lindsey starts, "What's up with Christa and Ray?"

Gerard takes a breath in, sitting upright. He pushes his hair back and rubs at his eyes. "Nothing, really, just... I don't know. I haven't really talked to Ray in a while, he's been really busy with Christa and his parents' bookstore."

He bites at his lip and squints sadly into the distance to where she asumes the couple is.

Lindsey makes a noise in the back of her throat like a whine, "This is so sad, you are so sad. I'm going to help you, somehow." Lindsey pauses, "I don't know how yet, though."

A loud clatter from the front of the cafeteria gets a lot of the students to quiet down. Lindsey looks past Gerard to where the lunch line is, which is made up of only a handful of students this late into lunch. There the pair is, the answer to all of Gerard's woes.

Gerard is watching the scene unfold as well. Two students, one boy, one girl, stand before some poor kid with wide eyes. Lindsey can just barely see the blue plastic tray on the ground between them.

"Oh shit." She hears Gerard whisper to himself.

 _Oh shit_ , Lindsey agrees. Ashley is silently fuming as she fusses with her shirt, now complemented with aquired food stains. Josh is warning the younger student to be careful and watch where their going. This is Lindsey's chance. Ashley needs an new shirt, Lindsey has three extra in her gym locker.

"Just figured out how, be right back."

She bolts up, jumping over the seat and throwing some flimsy excuse to Gerard when he yells at her. She's jogging up to the pair just as they're walking away from the mess. She smoothes her skirt down.

"Hey! Hi." Lindsey gasps out as soon as she's near enough for them to hear. They both turn to her and give her owl-ish looks. She swallows hard. "So, here's the thing: you need a shirt, I have three in my locker and a friend with guy problems." Lindsey glances between them both, "If I help you, will you help us?"

Josh and Ashley eye her. Lindsey gives them a hopeful look.

"Okay," Ashley starts slowly, pursing her lips, "tell me about your friend on the way to your locker."

Josh smiles lightly at her, grabing the strap of his backpack and hoisting it up higher on his shoulder, "We're not promising anything, though."

Lindsey beams. "He's actually sitting right over here, I'll go get him." She points vaguely in the area she's headed in, then speed walks through tables and people until she reaches Gerard.

Gerard looks half terrified, half angry by the time Lindsey is standing in front of him.

"No." He says with venom, crossing his arms.

Lindsey nods her head wildly, "Yes! If anyone could help, it's these two."

"No, Lindsey, I told you - Frank isn't into me! There's nothing they can do to change that!"

She looks at Gerard with wide eyes, "You are an idiot. My best friend is an idiot." She rolls her eyes, "Come on, they're waiting on us. You don't wanna keep them waiting, do you? You've got nothing to loose." Lindsey knows she has him when he scowls. He's such a people pleaser.

Gerard stands up and says in an unpleasant voice, "I hate you, you owe me." in her face. He stomps off towards the back with his lunch tray in hand.

Lindsey smiles to herself and picks up Gerard's backpack and her lunch box. She's practically skipping as she makes her way to the cafeteria doors, where Ashley and Josh are waiting.


	3. We Don't Believe What's On TV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Josh Dun has a Spotify playlist of his favorite songs from high school and one of them is Rock Show by Blink-182, this means it's TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY POSSIBLE that he had it as his ringtone DON'T FIGHT ME ON THIS.
> 
> Also it's mentioned that Gerard was with a girl at one point, this was before he came to terms with his gayness.
> 
> Chapter title stolen from We Don't Believe What's On TV by Twenty One Pilots.

"Um," Gerard starts just as Ashley reaches for the door handle, "I can't - we can't go in there."

Lindsey and Ashley both stop and slowly turn around to blink at him.

"Why not?" Ashley says, "No one else is around."

 _Because he's a boy, for one. He's a boy and Josh's a boy and they isn't supposed to go into the_ girl's  _locker room_ , Gerard thinks. The boy's locker room is directly across from the girl's, but he never really used it either. It smelled like sweat and old socks and it was basically expected of you to at least take your shirt off. Gerard only went in when no one else was around, so that he could peacefully catch his breath or get a drink of water or change or use the restroom. The girl's locker room never crossed Gerard's mind once, because he's not a girl and he isn't into girls so what use is it to him, honestly?

Josh put a hand on Gerard's back, startling him out of his thoughts, "It's not so bad, I've been in here once or twice. Mostly after school when all the smokers come by, so unless you've got a thing for the smell of cigarettes or weed, you should be fine." He smiles wide and pushes Gerard forward, "Or the smell of perfume, I guess. Problem for you?"

Gerard looked at his shoes, mumbling out, "Well, I mean, I've smoked once or twice, but that's about it-"

"Perfect!" Ashley cuts in loudly. Gerard looks up at her and sees just her head poking out from behind the big wooden door, "Then there's absolutely no reason for you to not come in here!"

He hears Lindsey say something from inside, her voice bouncing off the concrete brick walls. Josh pushes at Gerard again.

He sighs in defeat, "Fine, fine."

Immediately after walking in, Gerard notices two major things: one, that the smell of gym duffle bag was moderately less, and two, that Ashley apparently was perfectly fine stripping in front of people she's never really met before.

Okay, maybe he's being a little over the top when he says that, because Ashley isn't  _naked_ , she's just shirtless. Her bra, from what he saw in the split second she was facing the door before she turned back around, shows all and hides nothing.

Gerard blanches, "Oh my god." He freezes up at his spot by the door with Josh stuck behind him.

Lindsey looks over Ashley's shoulder and snorts. Turning back to the lockers she's in front of, she rifles through papers and clothing.

Fingertips are drumming against his back. Gerard takes slow and steady zombie-like steps into the locker area. He was preparing for an overwhelming smell of smoke, not breasts. The smoke smell isn't even that bad.

Josh skips over to Lindsey, "You didn't tell us we were dealing with a virgin."

Gerard opens his mouth to protest that no, he is  _not_ actually a virgin, thank you very much, but Lindsey gets there first.

"He's not a virgin," She says matter-of-factly with her head ducked into the locker.

"He's not?" Josh sounds like he doesn't believe it. Gerard's a little offended.

"Nah," She easily says, "I totally saw him getting a hand job once." When she pulls herself out of the half-locker, she's got two t-shirts in one hand and a tank top in the other. "Green Day, tank, or black v-neck?"

"Black, if you don't mind. Looks better with my shoes." Ashley replies, throwing a foot out and turning it side to side.

"Wait a minute," Gerard interrupts, "When did you see me- but we were- what?"

Lindsey hands Ashley the black shirt, shoving the other two options back into the small compartment. She slams the locker door and smiles lopsided at Gerard. Lindsey waves a hand around, "You weren't exactly quiet, and you were in the middle of the bathroom doorway. Hey, she was cute, though, in that nerdy 'I have big goofy reading glasses at home' kinda way, so go you."

Gerard can feel the blush spreading high up on his cheeks, "But..." He opens his mouth, then closes it like a fish, blubbering for a minute before his eyes go wide. He asks, "You didn't- you didn't see anything, right?" His entire body feels hot and flushed, embarrassed.

Lindsey chokes on a laugh, "The lights were out, the only reason I knew it was you was from your voice. I heard you, I glanced over to make sure it was you, and then I went right back upstairs to Mikey's party." She shakes her head in disbelief and shoves a lock on the little loop of the door.

Ashley snickers under her breath, her arms up in the air and the shirt around her chest and face. Josh's shoulders are moving up and down, too. Gerard huffs at them all and looks around the room. There's a bathroom with no door, and a shower room with no door as well, but all showers have curtains that fall almost to the ground. It's all open so teachers can see what's going on, Gerard guesses. It's basically the same in the guy's locker room. Even the fountain in the corner. Everything's just the opposite.

When he pulls his attention back to Ashley, she has the shirt on finally. She's patting at her thighs and tugging at the cloth on her shoulders.

"Okay," she says, "time to get down to business, we have about fifteen minutes left."

Josh slides his book bag off and sets it down on a bench, then plops himself down next to it. Ashley sits down on the other side of the bag, bringing her legs up to sit crisscrossed.

Lindsey and Gerard share a look, then sit down on the bench adjacent to theirs.

The book bag gets unzipped, and Ashley takes out a sparkly purple journal. She's humming as she opens it up, skims through different pages before settling on one near the back.

"What's that?" Gerard asks.

Josh leans back dangerously, until his back is touching the lockers behind him, until his butt is hanging off the bench, until his legs are jutting out in front of him because of the angle that his knees are at resting on the seat. "It's our magic dating journal." He says, face grave. "We write about all the couples we've gotten together. We need to write about you now. This is our get to know you time, right now."

Ashley nods her head agreeingly, "About that," she says. She has a purple pen to match the journal. It has a big purple fluff ball on the end that makes Gerard want to reach over and take it. He wants to rub it against his face. "Do you already have someone in mind that you want to be paired with? Or does it matter at all; me and Josh can pick and choose?"

He nibbles at his top lip, "I, uh, have someone in mind already."

Josh blinks rapidly at him. Ashley sits there in wait.

He's so nervous. "It's, it's- he's probably not even gay, so, like. And he's so out of my league. It's not like what happens on TV shows."

"Gerard." Ashley huffs, "I don't care what happens on TV. Who is he? We'll make it work."

"His name is Frank." Gerard gulps, it sounds loud in his head. "Frank - God - Frank Iero. From the baseball team." Gerard feels kinda sickly. His fingers twitch by his side and he bounces his foot on the ground. It's quiet except for the  _thump thump thump_ of his shoe hitting the concrete floor and bouncing back up.

"That is... That's... Huh." Josh drifts off.

Thin lines that made Ashley's lips grew bigger and bigger until she was smiling wide. "Oh my God, that is so cute. You guys are gonna be the biggest fucking walking cliché." Her irises glow like they're staring into another world. "This is the best request we've ever done. It's gonna be huge."

Josh is typing on his phone when he echos her with "It's gonna be epic." And then, "Tyler played on the baseball team for, like, three days in freshman year before switching to basketball. He knows people. We have ins."

Josh keeps typing on his phone, sometimes waiting for a response for a few seconds, or minutes, but once while he's waiting, all of the sudden his phone goes off. It's a song, and although the singer only gets a few lines in ( _-girl at the rock show; she said "What?" and I told her that I didn't know; she's so cool, gonna sneak in through-_ ) Gerard's already got the lyrics rolling around in his brain, going into a little folder named "look up later".

"Tyler?" Josh says, frowning, "Dude, aren't you in the middle of class?"

There's loud muffled words that Gerard wouldn't be able to make out from where he's at if he tried.

Josh's head lulls to the side, "Oh, I see." More talking. "Okay, so you do have an in to the team, right?" Josh scratches at his hair, "Gerard. Yep, Way." There's high pitched laughter from the other end of the call. Josh laughs, too; Gerard frowns, "I know, it's gonna be sick." He grins at nothing, then says again, "So sick!" His smile dims, his whole being seems solumn, "Shit, tonight? Okay, yeah. Um, I still have to ask my mom. No, no, I didn't forget! How could I forget your big game? I remembered, I swear, my mom's just been working late. Should I bring candy? Tyler?" Josh waits for a moment, then pulls the phone away from his ear and looks down at it.

"He hung up on me." He says sadly to Ashley, "Fine then, I'm bringing all the candy he doesn't like but I do."

Ashley looks confused, "I didn't know he had a game tonight."

Josh 'hmm's, "Yeah. I forgot about it."

"I'm coming tonight." She says, "He doesn't need you to bring him candy when he's got an all-access pass to this sweet thang." Ashley sits up straight and gestures to herself.

Everyone snickers at that. Gerard's trying to keep his giggles quiet, but there's no use. Ashley is laughing at herself, and Lindsey is trying to muffle her laughter into her hand while Josh has his head flung back as much as it will go with the lockers eight there.

When they all quiet down, Ashley clears her throat, "Alright, let's get back to it."


End file.
